I have the road in my blood
I drive a custom van
I play the tunes
I'm the neighborhood ice cream man
So don't you mess this boy around
The other day when the clinic had it's local debut
Some chicks were trying to picket
The doctor threatened to sue
I don't care if it's a baby or a tissue blob
but if we run out of youngsters
I'll be out of a job
And so I
I did my duty
cleaning up the neighborhood
I blew up the clinic real good
Try and catch me coppers
Your stinkin' badges better think again
Before you mess this boy around
I've hung in Saigon

I ain't no Christian or no born again saint
I ain't no cowboy or Marxist D.A.
I ain't no criminal or Reverend Cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do what's right

I'm just your average guy
an average guy
I am just your average guy
I'm just an average guy

Average guy, I'm just your average guy
I'm average looking and I'm average inside
I'm an average lover and I live in an average place
you wouldn't know me if you met me face to face

I'm just your average guy
average guy
Average guy
I'm just an average guy

I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my liver's big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
and the crime waves in the street
I'm really just your average guy
trying to stand on his own two feet

I'm just your average guy
I'm just your average guy
I'm just your average guy
average guy

Average looks, average taste
average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
my temperature is 98.2

I'm just your average guy
an average guy
Average guy
I'm just an average guy
Average guy
I'm just your average guy
I'm just your average guy
I'm just your average guy
Average

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